Meet the Band: Europe

Aren't these the bad guys in Superman?

Recently a good friend and Polish immigrant, Gorski, had a conversation with Wick. Apparently Gorski had been skeezing around YouTube and came across the video for the "The Final Countdown" by the band Europe. As is inevitable while perusing YouTube, he ended up where he never expected. Namely, the video for "Cherokee," also by Europe. Wick had emailed the transcript, which included his exclamation of, "Is that a keytar?"

That line in and of itself left me crying with hilarity. Not only for the fact that yes, indeed, the IS a keytar in the video, but the fact that Wick knew the nomenclature for a keyboard guitar. You can see the video here, and I highly recommend it.

Is my hair teased enough? No, seriously, is it?

If you don't know Europe, you should. Everyone should at least recognize the song "The Final Countdown" from Arrested Development, as Gob's theme song when he was doing magic ("Illusions, Michael"). Europe is a Swedish glam-rock, hair metal, Eurotrash rock band that formed in 1979. Growing up with teenage ansgt at national health care, a sustainable population, and low crime, these guys found the inspiration they needed to rock.

"But, what kind of Eurotrash band names themselves the most Euro-trashy name possible, except for the name 'Eurotrash?'" you might ask.

Good question. I don't know. But who cares, they use a keytar.

Europe actually sold a lot of records. To who, I have no idea. The Final Countdown, Europe's third album, went triple platinum in the US. That's not counting the countries that usually love weird shit, like Japan, where they're still gods.

Next, check out their website (yes, they have one!). Enter the site. Be prepared for the usual bizarre shit that you associate with Swedes, like Ikea. They call their site "Secret Society," I'm guessing because to publicly admit to being a Europe fan generally results in insults, hate mail, and stonings.

This band still rocks. Browsing their site, you can see proof (pictures!) of their rock-tastic shows in rock mecca's like Minsk, Skellefteå, and Niagara Falls. I couldn't pull any pictures from their site (Sercret Society only), but these guys learned the finer art of shampoo, scissors, and big sunglasses. They are out to prove, along with Poison and Montley Crue, that middle-aged dudes with STDs can still rock.

And it's all about the music.

David Coverdale alert! Straight from Wiki: "On July 23, 2008 Europe did a co-headlining concert with Whitesnake in Padua, Italy. During Whitesnake's performance of their encore "Still of the Night", Joey Tempest joined David Coverdale on stage for the last chorus."

Rock.

The Emancipation Declarative Statement

I think that's a double negetive...

I done broke outta Shawshank!

Toiling for months under the iron fist of a totalitarian regime of capitalism and supply and demand, life was grim. My freedom of speech eroded, my basic human rights on the brink of collapse, my laughter silenced. All was dull in an already dull world.

Big Brother was Magick Island Technologies. They offered internet service. For an outrageous price, you could get spotty internet service at random times while unusual websites were blocked. Such was the case with HMNIG. When I tried to access it, it told me the site was restricted because it was porn. Porn! When has Gorgeous EVER had porn? What about the site makes it even remotely resemble porn? It was outrageous. It was unjust. It was...my only option for internet service.

So I abided. Another broken soul claimed by The Man.

Two days ago, I got wind that Magick Island Technologies no longer blocked porn. I didn't care about that. But Gorgeous was, apparently, porn. So I tried it. I was greeted by a striking picture of David Coverdale (see below), the new poster boy for literary freedom. Apparently Wick has been at work, though just barely. My reemergence can hopefully spark his creative genious. That is, if it can fight through the bourbon haze surrounding his brain.

I have been emancipated. The bonds of bondage have been un-bonded.