The Emancipation Declarative Statement

I think that's a double negetive...

I done broke outta Shawshank!

Toiling for months under the iron fist of a totalitarian regime of capitalism and supply and demand, life was grim. My freedom of speech eroded, my basic human rights on the brink of collapse, my laughter silenced. All was dull in an already dull world.

Big Brother was Magick Island Technologies. They offered internet service. For an outrageous price, you could get spotty internet service at random times while unusual websites were blocked. Such was the case with HMNIG. When I tried to access it, it told me the site was restricted because it was porn. Porn! When has Gorgeous EVER had porn? What about the site makes it even remotely resemble porn? It was outrageous. It was unjust. It was...my only option for internet service.

So I abided. Another broken soul claimed by The Man.

Two days ago, I got wind that Magick Island Technologies no longer blocked porn. I didn't care about that. But Gorgeous was, apparently, porn. So I tried it. I was greeted by a striking picture of David Coverdale (see below), the new poster boy for literary freedom. Apparently Wick has been at work, though just barely. My reemergence can hopefully spark his creative genious. That is, if it can fight through the bourbon haze surrounding his brain.

I have been emancipated. The bonds of bondage have been un-bonded.

Obstacles to "Progress"

If progress is what you call starting this site up again. Anyways, when I got it in my head to start posting stuff on here again, the first step was to see if I could still sign in. When I did, I got this:

I don't read squiggles. My Arabic vocabulary is limited. My ability to read Arabic is nonexistent. The only word in Arabic I recognize is "exit," because it looks like "tits" in fancy letters (picture to come shortly). True story.

When I saw this, I was simultaneously confused, amused, and angry. I think the word I uttered was "Whaffnauck?" It's a strange emotion.

The last time I logged into the site was months ago, so navigating from memory was kind of hard. I figured it out, after first trying to type my email into the password block. Arabic is written right to left, so the password block is to the left of the sign in block. Once I mastered this, I somehow was able to sign in.

It took a minute for me to realize I get my wireless internet from some decrepid, bootleg Iraqi retailer. And of course it would be in Arabic.

And that's bullshit.