McDonald's is Racist, and You Don't Care

As the mediocre comedians of our time remind us again and again, black people and white people are different.

I know. Wow.

As you're reading this, all the white people are saying, "Pardon me, what was that?" and the black people are saying, "Say whaaaaat?"

There's a huge difference between acknowledging those differences and discriminating based on those differences. The former is funny. The latter is racist. And sometimes funny.

Most people who aren't white and from Mississippi will say they don't like racism. So why don't you care that McDonald's is violently racist?




Differences between people doesn't have to be a bad thing. Sometimes all they are are differences. But McDonald's has been segregating their commercials for years. Maybe you don't notice because you only go to Wendy's, you racist bastard.





There are two types of McDonald's commercials. Let's compare two radio ads. The first is set to rap music, and some dude, obviously black, is rapping about the egg-based breakfast sandwich he's going to slam. It's upbeat, vibrant, and makes me want to crush some McDonald's. But of course, in this commercial it's "Mickey D's," because black people are so much cooler than everyone else.

Miggity-miggity-Mack Donald's

The second has no music, but features the voice talents of the whitest people on earth discussing the merits of McDonald's new oatmeal. "Gee, McDonald's (not Mickey D's, because white people are boring) has new oatmeal. Isn't that neat? Let's take our station wagon and get some!"

Let's do the whitest thing possible

These two commercials, both for McDonald's breakfast, tell us a few things:
1. McDonald's only wants to sell food to white people and black people.
2. McDonald's thinks white people are losers.
3. McDonald's thinks Latinos only eat tacos.

Number 3 makes McDonald's racist to a third ethnicity. Although, they once tried to bring in the Latino market with their fajitas of a few years ago. But Latinos realized they sucked as much as the rest of the restaurant's food and said no dice.





As for number 2, a little googology turned up some revealing information. Type "mcdonalds black" into Google and you get this. Wait, what the hell!?!? McDonald's has a whole website entirely devoted to African Americans! That alone deserves a separate post at a later time, when I can fully soak in how possibly offensive that is.

At least I think it's offensive. Maybe.

I'm confused. Is it racist to not pander to the majority? Is that reverse racism? Is it racist to cater only to one minority and ignore all others? Is it racist that McDonald's assumes black people want to eat McDonald's more than anyone else? Is it racist that McDonald's thinks white people suck? Is THAT reverse racism? Do Asians like Big Macs?

Who knows. I just know that I feel a little offended, and not because I may or may not be white. I'm not offended that McDonald's has a website specifically for black people. I feel that black people should be offended a fatbody-producing slop house like McDonald's tries so hard to appeal to them. I feel like that shows McDonald's has a lower opinion of black people. Maybe I feel that way because I hate McDonald's because it's evil and it makes people diabetic.

The "F" stands for "Foxy." Or "Fat." It's probably "Fat."

What's that, marketing major? You say this is just an example of target audience advertising? Then I guess that's why Wal-Mart advertizes so much to white trash hillbillies. But I think I'm getting off target. Back to the fact that McDonald's makes white people look like this -

and black people look like this -





while eating their food. But to be fair to McDonald's, it does treat all people the same in one regard. It makes all people look like this:

Lay off me, I'm starving