How ya doin', kids. Dis here's Birdman again. Boy, it's been tough lately for us sooper Philly Phans. Wat wit' da Flyers losin' an' all. Dose fuckin' Pittsburgh hicks. Dey don't know wat real hockey is, do dey! Fuckin' Sooper Mario my ass. My hairy Italian ass!Wat? Sit da fuck down, Louise! I told you, I'm talkin' here!
Fuckin' woman don't listen, ya know? Hey! How do you tell a woman wit a black eye to shaddap? What, you already told her once! HA!!!
Anyways, it's a fuckin' shame about da Flyers, ya knowhaddamean? I mean, we beat dose fuckin' Caps (who never should have made it to Game Fuckin' 7), den we beat da fuckin' Canadiens, and den...fuck. It's always somethin' wit Philly, ya knowhaddamean?
I mean, shit, when's da last time Philly won anyting? I tink I was just a little bastard runnin' around beatin' up terd graders cause I tawt I had a big set of googats.
Wat do you want, Joey? No, I ain't got time ta take you to da library for dat school shit. Can't you see I got important stuff here? Now run go get your old man anudder can of Bud, will ya's?
Jesus. Fuckin' kids don't know what's right dese days, wat makes sense. (chuckles) It ain't school, I can tell you dat! I never finished seventh grade, an' I'm doin' pretty fuckin' good! I mean, I got my season tickets to da Iggles, don't I? How's dat! Stick dat high school diplorma up your ass, pussies!
Alright. It's gon' be a long summer, kids. We gotta long way until da Iggles play, an' we gotta put up wit' anudder Phillies collapse. But hang in dere. Training camp starts soon, and dat's when the dream starts again. Dis is Birdman, signin' off.
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