Bob: HELLO!?!!?
Wife: Hi, it's me!
Bob: HI! HOW'S YOUR DAY GOING? MINE'S FINE. I HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO. BUT BEFORE I GET TO ANY OF IT, TELL ME EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU IN THE TWO HOURS SINCE I'VE SEEN YOU.
Wife: Well, ok...Do you wan't to talk about all the crap that can probably wait until eight hours from now when I see you again?
Bob: OF COURSE. WHY WOULDN'T WE TALK ABOUT THAT?
***Fifty-eight minutes later***
Bob: HOLD ON, DEAR, MY CELLPHONE IS RINGING. I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
Wife: Ok, I love you!
Bob: I LOVE YOU TOO! TALK TO YOU SOON!
Molly (name has been changed): Hi Dad!
Bob: HI! HOW'S YOUR DAY GOING???
Molly: OMG! (Continues to spill guts)
***Thirty-three minutes later***
Bob: OK, HONEY, I HAVE TO GO GET SOME WORK DONE. I'LL TALK TO YOU IN SIX HOURS WHEN I GET HOME.
(Dials number on office phone)
Wife: Hello?
Wife: Oh, hi honey.
Bob: SO LISTEN TO HOW MUCH MOLLY IS SCREWING UP.
***Hour passes***
Bob: AND DOESN'T SHE HAVE DANCE LESSONS TODAY? LET'S TALK ABOUT HER COLLEGE OPTIONS. AND HER COMMUNITY SERVICE IS ALMOST DONE WITH...
Repeat at least twice daily. Take cyanide as needed.
