Castro Steps Down! 80% of the Planet Says, "Who?"

Fidel Castro has stepped down as dictator, ruler, and Supreme Douche of Cuba. And we here at Gorgeous could care less. It might have something to do with how little effect the man has on, well, anything.

Fidel's brother is taking over. Will Cuba's government change? Will the Cuban people be granted more rights? Will pink become the new olive drab green? Raul is a Latino Communist generalissimo. So, no.

"Does this beard make me look douchey?"

Who knows what this reassignment of power means for the planet. As far as Cuban-US relations, the embargo is still on. This does not, however, prevent the exportation of shitty music. Or I Love Lucy reruns. Or the fact I still have to smoke shitty cigars from bootleg Caribbean islands.

What this does mean is that Miami will remain infested with Cubanos. Now, I've never been to Miami (probably because it's infested with Cubanos) so I can't really say if they're good or bad for the town. All I know is that they all cried about this picture, while I laughed.

"Say what again, motherfucker! I dare you! I double dare you!"

Personally, I'm not excited by this news. It means nothing. Raul is Fidel with less facial hair. Besides, if you think Fidel is going to spend the rest of his days on a beach in Fiji drinking Bay Breezes and ogling European chicks, you're wrong. He'll be sure to have his hand up his elbow in Raul's ass, trying to play him like a puppet.