Another Love/Hate List, Now With Less Human Emotion

It’s Tuesday, which means it’s Love/Hate time. Wait...I don’t know what day this list is supposed to be on, since I haven’t written one in months. So now it’s going to be Tuesdays, because I hate Tuesdays.

Love

1. I’m kind of on the fence about this, but I’m leaning toward liking the fact that Jason Taylor is now a Redskin. The team did nothing during the offseason to bolster a weak defensive line, and I think he could bring a much-needed spark to our pass rush. As well as a sweet fouetté en tournant.
2. The Rum Diary by Dr. Hunter S. Thompson. A booze-soaked perspective of the gritty hopelessness of San Juan, Puerto Rico, and the false grandeur imagined by American outsiders. Makes me thirsty for some Bacardi.
3. Starting the morning with a Monster Energy Drink. The right amount of caffeine and cocaine to get through the morning.

I wish it were winter so we could freeze it into ice blocks and skate on it and melt it in the spring time and drink it!

4. The fact that Gorgeous has published more than three articles in a month. Congrats to the degenerate winos that inhabit this writing establishment.
5. Flav-o-ice.

Hate

1. Tuesdays.
2. Faux hawks. Even the name drips with homosexuality.
3. Cab drivers in D.C. I haven’t seen one use a turn signal ever. Anytime one pulls ahead of me, I instantly know he’s going to cut me off. But let’s be honest; if you’re going to cut someone off, why would you give them any warning?
4. Homeless people. Because I have no soul.
5. The oppressive, omnipresent, blood-coalescing heat that exists in this godforsaken swamp we call the Nation’s Capital.