
Friday, April 4, 2008
Love/Hate List

Friday, March 28, 2008
Love/Hate List
Love
-When guys get older and fatter, their ties get longer in order to end at the same place on the belly. See illustration.

In this example, y = the height of the tie, from neck to bottom. This is not a measure of distance. The length of the tie is measured by x. In a normal adult male, x/y = 1. In the fatbody pictured on the right, x/y = >1. This is because x has been increased in order for y to remain constant. x is elongated in order to compensate for the curve of the belly, which is quantifiable as the function -(x^2-x)=y.
-Lupe Fiasco's new album, especially single "Superstar"
-The upcoming live-action GIJoe movie
-Puppies
Hate
-My Microsoft Paint skills (top of page, this article)
-The Jonas Brothers. Who the fuck are these hippies, and why are they in Thursday's USA Today and all over the radio?
-Accidentally erasing all the music on my iPod yesterday
-Foreigners
Thursday, March 20, 2008
The Friday Love/Hate List
Love
-St. Patrick's Day. Really, no elaboration needed.
-Along those lines, Shamrock Fest. Smelled pot for the first time since college. Yeah, I'm a square.
-Putting money on NCAA Tourney. Makes me give a fuck about Drake.
-Call of Duty 4, XBox 360. Modern weapons, modern tactics, modern war. Modern geek.
-The Wire on DVD. Never watched when it was on HBO. So bitchin' when you can watch one episode and immediately watch the next. Question of the day: what dude is Omar gonna bang this season?
Hate
-The Day After St. Patrick's Day. Notice no new posts from Tuesday.
-Losing money on NCAA Tourney.
-Getting stage fright when I really do have to piss. Why is it that when dude goes to piss next to me, suddenly my pee pee muscles seize up like C3PO on Tattoine. Investigation to follow.
-Celebrity ANYTHING (see below)
-Buying "Medel of Honor: Airborne" for 50% off at Best Buy, and not being able to play it because "Seriously? You can't think of ANYTHING better to do than sit around and play video games like you're 12?" Honestly, girlfriends just don't understand the finer points of conducting airborne operations deep behind German and Italian lines in order to destroy anti-aircraft or artillery installations which will allow the attack or movement of follow-on forces for the continuation of the invasion of mainland Europe. Maybe you'd like to be speaking German, but me, I got a war to win.