Stop Multiplying

I read today, by accident, that the uglier Simpson sister may or may not be having a baby with the homo from Fall Out Boy. And Beyonce may or may not have gotten pregnant by Jigga's spizza. All of which leads me to believe the world is going to end.



At the risk of sounding irrational, let me explain. First, the facts:

1. Women have babies.
2. Celebrity women have babies.
3. Women love celebrities.
4. Women love babies.
5. People are stupid.

It is a slightly well-known fact that women have babies. Women also love celebrities. We stand at a point in history where every wipe of every celebrity ass is documented in twenty-three different mediums within four minutes of said event. Therefore women know enerything there is to know about these people, including their kids. They love them. They want their own. So women have kids.

It doesn't help that every B-list hack is celebrated for reproducing, even though any retard with an IQ higher than a ham sandwich can put the round peg in the round hole (although he may get the wrong hole). This, in my opinion, has made women think that pregnancy and motherhood is something that should happen NOW, and multiple times afterwards.

And so the planet is turning into a poor Bolivian farming family. Everyone wants kids, and lots of 'em. So they start popping out fuck trophies like they're an assembly line. Pretty soon the world population is tipping 10 billion.

Which brings me to my initial point. Celebrity babies = we're all gonna die.