A Rarity: Post from Arkansas

Defying stereotypes and conventional wisdom, I am sitting here writing a post from North Little Rock, Arkansas. I know, I know. I'm surprised there's electricity here, too. I'm out here for two weeks for a military course, the details of which would give you a coma. Suffice to say I am not happy being here, and the course is merely the tip of the iceberg.

Do I have to?

There is nothing here. Seriously. Literally. Suicidally. North Little Rock, the aptly named suburb north of the Arkansas River from Little Rock, is a depressing shithole that reminds me of the poor, run-down areas surrounding New Orleans. Yards are overgrown, cars are rundown, and the buildings are shabby and in disrepair. But enough of that. Let's get to the good stuff.

Little Rock, NOT North Little Rock

The guy next to me in the course, who has been here a few times, told me of North Little Rock Mall. Having nothing better to do last night, I decided to check it out. So I followed his directions, and shortly came to a strip mall called North Little Rock Mall that consisted on A JoAnn's Fabrics and a Smoothie King. I wanted to kill that dude.

Luckily, right down the road I found a Blockbuster. Having nothing better to do during these two weeks, this was a lifesaver. I went in, and noticed the latest Lou Diamond Phillips blockbuster called Lone Rider. Once I got past the captivating and original title, I noticed it also starred Vincent Spano, who is of course Jesse's older brother. He graduated from Bayside when Mr. Belding was still vice principal. As it turned out, I didn't rent this epic saga, although I felt really bad for Richie Valens.

LDP

I really wish I had remembered to bring my camera, because there's just certain things that mere words can't convey, like the sense of utter hopelessness that radiates from this area. I'm not sure what Little Rock is like, I don't think I'll be going there. Maybe it's better, but probably not. Maybe that feeling comes from the fact that this area is prone to tornadoes, severe flooding, and remembering it's in Arkansas.

A state which, by the way, really sucks. Crossing the Mississippi River from Memphis, the first two miles of the state was flooded. That's not an exaggeration. Immediately after that I saw Wal-Mart. Then another one. And another. One every exit, in fact. And apparently, North Little Rock has two within two miles of each other. Although one is a (trumpets) Super Wal-Mart.

Well, I've only been here two days so far. I'll get back to you wierdos after I experience some more the The Natural State. And by the way, when I checked the site right before I wrote this, I was the 500th visitor. That means people are actually reading this drivel. I like that. Keep up the good work, ya bastards.