Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Brett Favre to football: "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you any more"

After 17 gunslingin' years, Brett Favre is finally calling it a career. Good riddance.

*Before this anti-Favre rant continues, it should be known that I am an unapologetic Dan Marino backer, though that only plays a small role in my overall distaste for all things #4.

Most of why I am not a Favre fan can be traced to the media's ongoing deifying (read: cock gobbling) of him. His ability to turn respected journalists into fawning, love-struck 15 year-old girls hoping that cute senior they've been crushing on asks them to Prom is both mind boggling and disturbing; dude is an NFL quarterback, not an amalgamation of Christ, Allah, Buddha and Vishnu.

To say objectivity gets cast aside when talking about Favre would be a massive understatement. Beaten severely and left to die in the shadow of his golden arm is more appropriate. For example, Ricky Williams will forever be remembered as a goofy stoner that quit on his team, but Favre's Vicodin addiction and subsequent trip to rehab have long been forgotten and are never mentioned. Nevermind that in the two years before Williams retired he led the league in rushing attempts and that both seasons rank in the top 14 of most rushes per season. Think he wasn't banged up a little? Or how about his well documented social anxiety disorder? Just so happens that marijuana has been proven effective as treatment for both pain and mood and mental health disorders. Meanwhile, Favre is lauded for his consecutive game streak, a streak partially fueled by pain killers. I'm not saying he should be vilified, but to go on and on about his lion heart while painting Williams as a coward and quitter is shameful since both were medicating the best way they knew.

Broadcasters and other media members seem to stop watching when Favre's propensity for throwing terrible interceptions rears its ugly head. Since taking over the full-time job in 1993, he has been in the top 10 in interceptions thrown in all but three seasons and he never had a season in which he threw less than 13. He is the career leader in interceptions thrown and only five people have thrown for as many touchdowns as he has picks. In 2003 he cost the Packers a trip to the NFC Championship when he wildly tossed a pass up for grabs against the Eagles and a similar mistake against the Giants this year prevented them from going to the Super Bowl. Coincidentally, neither was given so much as a mention when they happened and you can bet they won't be featured in the numerous career retrospectives we'll be subject to this week.

Now the Marino apologist in me can shine through. All quarterbacks are judged by whether or not they won a Super Bowl and because of this Favre will go down higher on the list than Marino (breaking his records doesn't hurt). However, in the year Favre led his team to victory, they had a balanced offensive attack that was in the top 10 in passing and rushing and ranked number one overall and the league's best defense, one that featured Reggie White, arguably the greatest defensive lineman of all time. Those Packers didn't have to face one of the greatest teams ever either. The 49ers of 1984 ranked fourth in passing, second in rushing and first in overall defense. I can accept that the ring makes the quarterback (which is why I think John Elway is the best ever), but I think they should be judged equally. The lack of a running game during Marino's career forced him to carry the team and allowed defenses to adjust as such. Anytime this is brought up people say stop making excuses for Marino not being able to get the job done, yet when Favre went 4-12 two years ago and he threw 29 interceptions the accepted reason was because there was a lack of talent around him. Favre couldn't win in Dallas and in his other Super Bowl appearance the Broncos won despite being heavy underdogs. This isn't necessarily forgotten, but it isn't his legacy. Marino, however, will forever be known as a guy that couldn't win the big game, regardless of similar career numbers and the inability to beat a rival when it mattered, in his case Buffalo.

Finally we come to his love of the game. To hear anyone else speak of it, you'd think the rest of the NFL was made up of a bunch of football playing robots waiting to cash a paycheck. One could never love the game as much as Farve did and no one ever will. awdgh...Sorry, I just vomited and some hit the keyboard. Give me a break. Professional football is a dangerous sport and many players experience terrible effects long after their playing days are over; just look at the fiasco that is happening with retirees and the NFLPA. Of course there are me first guys in the league, just as in any profession in the country, but to insinuate that Farve, or anyone for that matter, loves it more than anyone else, no questions asked, case closed, period, is laughable and a disservice to those that came before and those that put on the pads today.

All of this isn't to say that I hate Brett Farve, the man or the player. The Monday night game after his father died was one of the greatest performances I've ever seen in any sport, even if it did whip John Madden into a orgasmic froth. I just find it maddening that sports fans, those that cover him and the country in general worship him while criticizing others for similar transgressions or athletic deficiencies. So Brett, enjoy the Wranglers and thank you for making my future Sundays more enjoyable. Until Tony Romo's rapidly growing love surpasses yours.

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