Aside from being the birth month of yours truly (though it is debatable whether that is a plus or minus for humanity), along with some other top notch folks I know, March is important for a number of reasons. Perhaps in his newfound sobriety, Pennypacker forgot that St. Patrick's Day used to be his favorite holiday. Guy had a year-long countdown and would awake at 6 a.m. for a ceremonial car bomb, amongst other nefarious hijinks. Anyway, enjoy a sampling of March happenings:
The Good
Articles of Confederation established - 1781
Sir William Herschel, amateur humorist, discovers Uranus - 1781
Stoners of the Revolution, a lesser known offshoot of Daughters of the Revolution, rejoice as Vermont is welcomed into the Union - 1791
Ulysses "The S stands for shitkickin'" Grant takes control of the Federal Army - 1863
Bicycle enthusiast Albert Einstein born - 1879
Star Spangled Banner becomes our National Anthem - 1931
Dictator/wedding singer Joseph Stalin calls it a life - 1953
The Bad
Ohio (1803) and Nebraska (1867) enter the Union
Texas becomes a free agent - 1836
Congress outlaws polygamy - 1882
Congress fucks with time, approves daylight savings - 1918
America's greatest president, by weight, William H. Taft dies - 1930
Yoko Yoko's the Beatles; marries Lennon - 1969
Genius television producer decided "We need more boring!" C-Span hits the airwaves - 1979
The Ugly
The soothsayer was right! Caesar carved up by his pals - 44 B.C.
Boston Massacre - 1770
Three Mile Island validates "Harrisburg is a toxic shit hole" claims - 1979
Booze and huge oil tankers don't mix; Exxon-Valdez - 1989
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment