Hooray Boners!

If you've watched any television in the past few weeks, you've no doubt encountered Viagra's in-your-face "Viva, Viagra" advertising campaign (you can watch all the spots here). Thanks to an encyclopedic knowledge of the promotion of consumer goods, I was privy the campaign but had not seen an ad until the NCAA tournament. Imagine my surprise when what appeared to be an innocuous recording session turned into an extended jam singing, literally, the praises of the pill that gets you poised for penetration.

I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the minute-long encomium to erections, but a few things stand out in my mind.

1. Why the time stamp?
Really, what functional purpose does placing "Nashville 1:22 a.m." at the front end of the ad serve? Is it to tell the audience that boner jams only happen in the wee hours of the morning? Perhaps to let us know that after a marathon session in the studio deliriousness sets in and the only thing our twangy star can think about is a rock-hard uterus bruiser? Maybe it is to lend credibility to the countrified band since, after all, Nashville is HQ for all things Country.

2. How do they all play and sing along so easily?
Normally a group of dudes this in tune with their throbbing members is called a circle jerk. In this instance though, everyone picks up his (musical) instrument and joins the sing-a-long like Rodgers and freakin' Hammerstein are on set.

3. Why, exactly, are you SINGING ABOUT YOUR WEINER?
I suppose I can suspend belief enough to imagine a scenario where a bunch of guys are sitting around singing about sildenafil citrate, but why the hell would you? Look, you need a pill to make your unit work; you should be taking advantage of that toot sweet, not crooning about it. It's almost 1:30 in the morning dude, get home and start giving it to your wife. As much as she loves your albums, she probably loves your surprisingly non-flaccid man meat more.